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"What's it like," she asked, "carrying a gun all the time?" It's a responsiblity," I said, "like driving a car or owning a house, that's all. Only a little more so." Can I see your badge?" she asked.I tossed my uniform shirt over to her. "It's called a shield," I said. "Not a badge. Firemen wear badges; cops wear shields." Why do you say that?" Because it's supposed to shield me. From what, I have no idea!" Eileen didn't laugh at my admitedly feeble joke, and I didn't push it. She held the shirt close to her face and lightly traced my silver patrolman's shield with one delicate finger. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that her nostrils were flaring, and I realized she was sniffing my shirt!Deciding to ignore her for the moment, I walked to the bed and retrieved my duty pistol. Clearing it, I put the magazine and extra round on the dresser, and the now-empty pistol on the top shelf in my closet."Don't you keep it loaded all the time?" she asked.I nodded and opened my dresser. "Paul: "Hi Rebecca."Chuck: "I noticed you called him Paula. Why was that?"Rebecca: "I don't date men Chuck. I'm into women."Chuck: "Not even game show hosts?"Rebecca "Not unless you want to grow a pair of tits Chuck."Chuck: "What a shame. But what about you Paul? I don't see any tits on you either."Paul: "That's why I'm so pissed off. One minute I'm here, talking to the producer and signing a bunch of forms and the next thing I know, I'm at Rebecca's doorstep with my finger on doorbell. I almost fainted when I saw my fingers. They were a woman's fingers with painted nails and the whole works."Chuck: "The whole works?"Paul: "The works. Long hair, long legs, heels, and tits. Worse, you guys sent me out without underwear and wearing a flimsy dress. Jesus, I looked like a prostitute. I still don't know how you did it."Chuck laughs: "It's TV magic Paul. TV magic."Audience: "????"Chuck: "Sorry, inside joke. Anyway, Rebecca, what did you think when you saw Paul, er Paula the first.
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